Lifestyle

Published on October 12th, 2015 | by Millennium Magazine Staff

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Self Love Brings Love

Amanda Thompson

To love yourself can be a difficult task but self-love will reflect onto others, attracting them. Self-love does bring love.

There are many fish in the sea but you are only interested in one, the right one. You want the one who see’s how special you are and shows you off to the world, the one who lifts you up when you are down, and above all else the one that loves you unconditionally. Love is a much needed human emotion, the need to give and recieve it is in all of us even after we’ve been hurt. Whether you’ve been in and out of relationships or going on your first date the most important thing is to not expect the person to love you entierly if you do not love yourself. If you are looking for someone to put a value on you, you will end up disappointed every time and feel your self-value is so low that you can only get what is handed to you.

Before reaching this point you need to understand its not about finding the right person but more about being the right person. Find the things you love about yourself, now is not the time to make a list of your flaws. Break free of the constant pattern and change it up. Every woman wants to be captivating and every man wants to be the hero, it is what seperates the sexes and makes us so unique when seeking each other out.

An excersise that tends to help others on a journey to their own heart is discover their child at heart. Children tend to live every moment, not stopping to think about their weight and the things that limit them for it is when we become adults these things “matter”. Think back to your childhood, see yourself as that little girl who played dress up with her mom’s clothes or the little boy who hunted dinosaurs in his back yard. Whether you were the little girl pretending to be a princess or the little boy pretending to be a fireman, these were not just games but identites.

As boys get older, their imaginary battles hold a prize in the end, giving them something to fight for. Much like a soldier going to war, holding on to a picture of his sweetheart, men need something worth fighting for. As girls get older they still dream of being that beautiful princess awaiting her prince to rescue and worship her. The women wants to be rescued and the man wants to be her rescuer, this is what makes us so compatible from the minute we start using our imagination as kids.

You may feel there is a void in your heart and the only way to fill it is having that feeling of “true love” when in acuality you need to begin the patch work yourself in self-love. You are still that princess or that hero, finding the things you love about yourself is what builds our confidence to play the roles of the princess and the hero. Letting others tell you that you are unattractive or (this one especially for men) you don’t make enough money is not only shallow but if you buy it you are, again, letting others place a value on you. You are a prize to be won.

Whatever your flaws may be, don’t let them rule you. You are re-creating the value every person, every ex has placed on you. If all you’ve had were abusive relationships (emotionally or physically) than know you are already worth more than them the second you say “no more, enough is enough”. If you’ve been cheated on and betrayed, take that pain and angry energy and transform it into something positive for yourself, the love you have given and felt was wasted now needs to be focused on you. If you have been rejected and felt you were not worth it then you are sadly mistaken, you are still the princess/hero in disguise. There will be those who fail to see this, those who don’t take the time to, and those that will see it and want to explore it. This is nature’s way of panning out the ones who are not ready and the ones who do not qualify or even tests for your determination and confidence.

When in doubt it is time to treat yourself to the things that make you feel good about yourself. Cooking a homemade meal, having a guys/girls night out, teaching yourself something new, or even yoga which is something that is proven to boost a person’s mood. Setting some time aside out of your day to focus on yourself will not only boost your mood but your confidence as well as peak the curiousity of others; confidence is after all an attractive attribute to an individual’s personality.

“Everyone has heard that you have to love yourself before someone else can love you. The reason for this is simple – our ideal partner is a reflection of us”

To better understand what it is your heart yearns for, analyze past relationships you have had. Where did you meet some of the people you have dated? Was it a bar? Was it at work? If so, maybe its time to expand a little bit more and explore new territory. If you enjoy the outdoors, get involved in adventure programs and other groups to meet new people. If you enjoy reading, a library can be the place to not only find a new book but maybe even a person who can add a new chapter to your life. Open yourself up to a world of possibilities and join new groups of things that interest you or even start your own club, it is a great chance to meet new people with similar interests. Make yourself available and discover the line between determination and desperation, go for what you want and not what you think you deserve. Never settle for less when you deserve the best.

When meeting someone new, hold your head high and let them catch a glimpse of the wonderful person you are. Again, rejection is not the end, you are still that princess/hero in disguise continuing your journey to a heart much like your’s. Before planning for a night on the town with mingling in mind, run through all the things that make you a special and unique person. Become your inner child, one who has no worries of how you look because you are already that princess or that hero and there is someone who needs to be captivated by the beauty in you or someone who needs to know they are worth fighting for. You’re value is as high as you want it to be but you better believe it before putting it to the test.

“Do anything it takes to remind yourself how great you really are. Be reassured that the sadness, anger, and frustration you’re feeling post-breakup can be used as a vehicle for positive change that results in a stronger, better you. It may take months or even years, but it will never be a waste of time investing in your relationship with you. Once you’ve achieved a true self- appreciation and love, others will see your light shining brightly too!”

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